In a post-art school world, there is definitely a gap in my life. I still feel like I'm playing hookie or I forgot to register for classes, thus not allowing me to return to school this semester. Feels like, once I redeem myself and sign my MP notice, I'll be back in classes in January. Rushing from class to class in the dark and cold, cursing under my breath about being given one week for a project that requires three, or staying late in the main building typing a bullshit paper about "why I do art". This may seem like a negative mind set about school, but it's the truth. While one is in school there is an amount of hating it, even a little bit. I complained about it a lot, but I still really loved it. I love to learn and be surrounded by friends; most of whom I haven't really seen in almost two months. Why? Because work and school separate us now. The days I have off I want to sleep in and visit my boyfriend. The days I work I feel exhausted by the end of the day. The days they have off I am working. Sad.
But school is an entire entity I miss having in my life. When I was younger it was my "church", in a sense. I went every day (or as close to as possible) and I usually enjoyed it. I felt a sense of accomplishment when I would do assignments and the like. I ached with pain through maths, but even in those horrible algebra and IMP classes, I built camaraderie with fellow math-sufferers and usually ended up with some really nice pictures on college rule by the end of class.
College, especially, I loved. Even when things were annoying and people were mean and my body didn't allow me to enjoy myself, I loved my classmates and friends. Most of my professors were amazing and talented and funny. I made friends with the staff and I did some really good artwork.
Now, I have two part-time jobs in the retail industry (wince). I have a very distracting boyfriend and I really love sleeping. All of this makes it more difficult to push myself into long-term art projects or get down to visit the ol' alma mater.
To say that I don't like post-graduation life is inaccurate. I enjoy it, but I feel that my art college and my art college friends and my professors, the people that make up the whole school infact, bound me to my art and I always felt passionate about it. I still do art. I still hope to one day pursue a career in it. But, unfortunately, this world requires money, and I have to face my student loans.
I will always make art. I will always draw. That is my promise to myself. No matter how busy I get in my life, or how removed from the art world I may become, I will carry a sketchbook and implement.
I want to return to school in a few years to get my Masters in Fine Arts or Art History. And every five years, or so, I have a goal to redo my thesis project.
College is a fantastic experience. One I wholly miss. Maybe I will teach art some day. An amalgamation of my two loves. Art + learning.
I saw the bound version of my thesis in the school library a couple of weeks ago. There were a couple of unforgivable typos, and some random ramblings, but I still loved it all the same.
