I am still a cashier and I still hate it. But there have been a lot of improvements.
My boyfriend and I had a terrible fight, but we got through it and we are better for it. Stronger. I have convinced myself that I can admit that I have depression and I am seeking medical help. Stronger. I am applying for more jobs. I am applying for food stamps on Friday so I don't feel so stretched out because of money... I hate when money makes me cry and get all anxious. I am hanging out with friends more and I feel better for it. I am also trying to get some more alone time with myself. I feel crowded a lot and I get stressed when I don't have proper time to clear my head. And the bus rides no longer feel like enough alone time. Stronger. I am making an effort to listen to more happy music. I am trying to read more and watch good shows. I am ignoring commercials and people who make me mad. I am ignoring people who are mean for no reason. It's a waste of energy. They don't matter. I am trying to have more fun at work. Trying.
I love you and I love art and I just wanted you to know that I am still here and I am still making art.
"I'm an artist first"
Nata <3
music: Be My Yoko Ono - Barenaked Ladies
1 comment:
Even though its been a month since you posted this, I've been behind on reading blogs and stuff, but I wanted you to know that I DID read it, and am glad you wrote about the difficult stuff and your awesomeness and perseverance as well. I'd be very sad if you stopped making art. I want to write something happy and comforting, but I think it would sound trite and full of lies. But I do know that although well-meaning people might tell you to sacrifice your creative output in order to make room for other things they deem important to maintaining a 'normal' life, its a really bad idea and you'll be in a worse place than you started. So I hope that you have people that support you no matter where you end up and however long it takes to get where you want to be.
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